In my work with clients, I see time and again how fear of failure unconsciously influences our lives and prevents us from pursuing our dreams. These fears often run so deep that they keep us stuck in certain behaviors and make us believe that we can't achieve more. But once you understand how the subconscious works, it becomes clear why we behave the way we do - and how we can break these patterns.
Example of a client: The “lazy” person who flees from his fear
A client of mine often seemed "sluggish" or "lazy" to those around him because he rarely showed initiative, tackled new projects or took on responsibility. But as we worked together, it became clear that his behavior had nothing to do with a lack of will or laziness. Instead, it was a deep fear of failure that caused him to withdraw.
During his childhood, he felt that he was constantly failing to meet his parents' high expectations. Mistakes were harshly criticized, and so his subconscious developed the pattern: "If I don't dare, I can't fail." This protective behavior continued unnoticed throughout his life. What looked like reluctance or lethargy on the outside was actually a protective mechanism designed to protect him from the emotional pain of failure.
The subconscious draws on old experiences without distinguishing whether they are still relevant today. It keeps us stuck in the comfort zone, even if it prevents us from moving forward. In this case, avoiding challenges did not lead to greater security, but to a life that felt stagnant and unfulfilled.
Client example: The dutiful person who buries her dreams
Another example is a client who was highly respected in her profession but was becoming increasingly dissatisfied. She had a dream that lay deep within her: she wanted to become an artist, but the thought of taking this step and possibly failing paralyzed her.
As a child, she had learned that mistakes were punished with criticism and withdrawal of love. This belief - "I am only valuable if I am perfect" - still blocked her as an adult. Although she functioned well in her job and did everything "right", this security did not fulfill her. Her subconscious kept her trapped in this role because it wanted to avoid the pain of failure at all costs.
But clinging to perfection and security took her far away from what she really wanted. Here too, her subconscious held on to old, outdated beliefs that gave her supposed security but prevented her from achieving self-realization.
The subconscious – like a rubber band that pulls us back
The subconscious can be imagined as a tightly stretched rubber band. Even if we decide to go down new paths or make different decisions, it always pulls us back into old behavioral patterns, beliefs and ways of thinking. The rubber band represents all the entrenched convictions and fears that have shaped us over the years. No matter how much we long for change - if the rubber band is stretched too tightly, it snaps us back into the comfort zone. The result: We experience the same fears and doubts and behave the same way over and over again.
A classic example of this is the great motivation that many people have to go to the gym at the beginning of the new year. The will is strong and the motivation seems unshakable. But statistically speaking, most people fall back into their old behavior patterns after just a few weeks. Despite the initial determination, the subconscious pulls us back into our usual routines if we do not consciously work on the underlying patterns.
A client I worked with described it exactly like this: "Every time I wanted to take the step to try something new, it felt like something was pulling me back. No matter how many times I tried, I always ended up giving up."
But this "rubber band" can be cut. It's about recognizing and dissolving the deep, unconscious beliefs that are holding us back. Once we understand that the subconscious is holding us in patterns that no longer serve us, we can begin to break these bonds. The first step is to realize that what is holding us back is not reality, but old, outdated defense mechanisms.
How to break these patterns
There are various methods to break through old, blocking beliefs and loosen the rubber band that keeps pulling us back into old behaviors. One method that I use in my work is the unique Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT®) . RTT® helps to identify and reprogram deep-seated fears and beliefs in the subconscious. It is a powerful method to dissolve entrenched patterns and make room for new beliefs that support us instead of blocking us.
Through RTT® we can cut the rubber band that holds us back and start moving freely towards our goals and dreams. The key is to regain control of our subconscious and no longer let it be dictated by old fears and defense mechanisms.
Conclusion: We have the power to overcome our fears
Fear of failure can be deeply rooted in us, but it doesn't have to control us forever. As soon as we become aware of how our subconscious works and why it keeps us stuck in certain patterns, we have the opportunity to break these patterns. It is possible to cut the rubber band and take new paths - free from the constant fear of not being good enough, of being different, of not being lovable, of failing and much more.
Whether you are pursuing your dreams or simply want to break out of old behavioral patterns: change begins with the awareness that you are not bound by your fears. It is possible to break through the mechanisms of the subconscious and live a life that corresponds to your true ideas - free, courageous and self-determined. Bring life into your life and reduce fear!
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