Why do I always fall in love with the “wrong” guys?
Do you know that feeling? There's that one person who makes your heart beat faster - and yet you still have the strange feeling that something isn't right. The story starts like a beautiful dream, but over time you recognize patterns that seem familiar to you, and it often ends in a similar way to before. Why do you always end up with the same people who aren't good for you? Is it just bad luck, or is there more to it?
Today I invite you on a little journey into the “why” and “how” – with a lot of feeling and a bit of magic of the subconscious.
1. Your subconscious – a silent architect of your attraction
Imagine your subconscious mind is an archive. It stores countless memories, beliefs and convictions that you have collected over the course of your life, often since childhood. These hidden thoughts influence who we find attractive, how we experience love and what we think love is. For example, if as a child you always felt that love was a little difficult, a little unattainable - perhaps because your parents were often busy or attached conditions to love - then your subconscious mind has stored this "version" of love. It sees it as "normal", even as something reassuring. No wonder you often end up with people who reflect exactly this pattern.
But that doesn't mean that you're cursed or that you'll always attract the same type of person. Rather, it's about lovingly dissolving these old beliefs and adjusting your inner self to the fact that you deserve love - a love that's good for you and doesn't eat you up.
2. The Law of Attraction – what you radiate, you attract
The idea that we attract people through our inner attitude is not only spiritual wisdom, but also has a deep emotional logic. If we believe inside that we always have to make an effort to be loved, then that is exactly what we radiate. The "wrong types" are then magically attracted to this energy. They sense that you are ready to give everything without demanding much. They feel comfortable around you because you may absorb what they cannot give themselves - perhaps affection, perhaps confirmation.
Imagine if you let your love for yourself shine so brightly that you attract people who recognize this value and admire you for it. This is exactly what happens when you align your inner energy with your value and self-love.
3. Family patterns – what you learned early on
It may sound a little scary, but we often continue to live out our parents' relationship patterns, whether we want to or not. If we saw as a child that love was characterized by arguments or that closeness was associated with accusations, then it can happen that we unconsciously seek out such relationships. This does not happen because we consciously choose these people, but because our subconscious has perceived this as "normal". It longs for a feeling of home, even if it seems paradoxical to us.
Here lies the key: take a close look at your imprints and honestly ask yourself whether these patterns still have a place in your life. Sometimes this realization alone can remove the first blockages and make you ready for a new kind of relationship - one that is free of old shadows.
4. The great role of self-love
Ah, self-love. It sounds so simple, but in reality it is often a long journey to truly love ourselves unconditionally. When we don't value ourselves enough, we often look for validation and love from other people - and sometimes from exactly the wrong people. We hope that the other person's love will heal our own insecurities. But that rarely works, and often we end up feeling empty.
The more you learn to know and love yourself, the more you will open up to people who can love you as equals. Who admire you without you having to convince them. Who make you feel at home without you losing yourself in the process.
5. How to attract new people into your life
Now that we've taken a little look into your inner universe, you might be asking yourself, "So how do I break out of this pattern?" A first step could be to take a closer look at your previous beliefs. Write down what you believe about love and relationships - are these beliefs really true? Or are they simply echoes of your past? If you notice that they no longer serve you, give yourself permission to let them go.
Start working on your self-esteem and keep telling yourself lovingly that you deserve someone who really sees and appreciates you. Sometimes a little professional support, such as hypnosis or coaching, helps to break the old patterns even deeper. Your subconscious knows the way; it's just waiting for you to give it a new direction.
This blog is a little guide to understanding why you keep meeting the same guys and how you can gently but powerfully change the pattern. A journey to yourself, to the love you truly deserve.
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